The Call You Can't Ignore!!

I have Three Main Calls upon My Life to which I Am Committed.  They Each Begin with the Letter M:

My Marriage (Which Includes My Our Daughters) 

My Ministry (Which Includes My Pastorate) 

My Music (No Explanation Needed!)

But there was an unfortunate season  years ago where two of those callings took immediate and absolute precedence over the other. In hindsight and in Truth, I was on the brink of losing those dearest to me. 

I guess I could use the excuse that I was Young & Ambitious, eager to Make a Name for Myself Musically also in sincerely believing that My Responsibilities to the Church took precedent over what should have been my First and Most Important Ministry: My wife and our Three Daughters.  

But they took the backseat, time and time again, I chose Ministry & Music and whatever rare spare time was left, I Slept. 

Firstly, I was a Youth Pastor at an Urban Church where there was a Dire Need of Mentors and Role Models for Young Black Men. Providing them a Safe Place to Play Sports and Learn Practical, Biblical Life Lessons was Vital. Making sure they were doing well in school, keeping tabs on them with their Moms (most were from single parent homes) and even bailing them out of trouble consumed me. I was “making a difference in my community!” All the while, I could hear my young wife whisper as I rushed to my next appointment, “Save The World, Lose Your Family…” I wasn’t listening. 

Things compounded when I decided to release the “Perseverance” CD and I had to Put a Band Together to Promote the Product. Of course this meant Rehearsals (at my house – where else?) Booking & Gigging, Learning & Growing Marketing Skills and even more Rehearsals. There is no adrenaline like Success and With Each New Goal, You’re Driven to Get Better, Go Deeper and Fly Higher. 

My babies were Growing Up and Lori & I were Growing Apart. Ironically, being a Man of Faith saved me from Infidelity. It was the One Line I wouldn’t Cross, but I did walk up to it and looked over to consider ‘greener pastures’ a time or two. 

There’s a Theological Term called Grace that simply means that God spares us from what we deserve. I truly deserved that Lori should have left me many times over. But she’s a profound Woman of Grace. By the time I came to my senses and really listened to her heart, my eldest daughter was in college and our younger two were approaching Middle & High School. It was time to find true balance. 

It’s easy to see how quick you can lose sight of what’s truly important. It’s easy to hear the accolades of your peers and feel that another two hours in the office or at the studio is going to make a real difference on the project at hand. It takes hardly any effort to get used to coming home to a dark house, finding your plate in the oven and eating alone. You get up and do it again, kiss your kids when you can, while apologizing for missing the school play or another basketball game. 

But that’s not the way to live! 

I’ve heard the adage countless times: when you are at the end of your life, you are not going to wonder if you should have spent more time at work, or at the bar with the guys or gals. You won’t feel proud about the new merger or acquisition. You and I will look around for our spouses, children and significant others. We will want to hold them, hug them and pour into them before we transcend. Sadly and I’ve seen it, there are many who take their last breaths alone. 

I am Blessed in that I did not lose my family. In fact I was able to gain a much greater degree of devotion to them, all the while maintaining a very appropriate schedule in which to fulfill my personal and professional goals. My prayer is that you too would be able to enjoy such a delightful juggling act! 

I would love to hear how you balance Your Family, Career and Belief Systems.  It Really is The Call on Your Life that You Cannot Ignore! 

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