REVISITING THE NOTION OF "NO!"

A decade ago, I vividly remember having a conversation with my two youngest daughters, adolescents at the time, to properly explain a phrase they’d seldom heard around our home. Truthfully, they had so rarely heard this word that when my wife or I dared utter it, they’d think life itself was crashing down around them. 

During my 22 minute, uh, lecture, I clearly knew I was the one to blame for needing to pause our lives to revisit this very important expression. After all, when I was a teen, my mother exclaimed this distinct determiner to my sisters and I so often, whenever we asked for something -or- to go somewhere that when she answered otherwise we would immediately ask again, just to make sure she had meant what she said! 

Additionally, I confess that I failed here in my business, church and other vital relationships. As a chronic ‘people pleaser;’ not wanting to disappoint or make people feel rejected, hurt or that I would be “left out” of a great opportunity, I would sacrifice what was best for my family, my project or myself in order to engage in the less important emotions of making someone else feel better. 

Moreover, to pacify my reasoning to never pass up a good thing, I effectively ruined what would’ve been best for everyone involved…my not participating at all. Equally, my inability to enunciate this simple little protestation at the right moment became the very reason several imperative projects remain incomplete. To This Day. 

An Uncomplicated Declaration. Easy to Pronounce. Warm to the Touch. Light and Thin and Airy… 

When I have mustered the courage to whisper it, my fears of rejection or the complete breakdown of congruence proved grossly unfounded. The other person’s train continued to run on schedule and I was free to concentrate on what truly mattered. 

EntreMusicians would do well to reconsider, revisit and reevaluate the notion of this very special term so neglected in our vocabularies. When appropriately implemented, this two lettered, one syllable remark can bring peace to a home, calmness to a heart and help your teen daughters (or business or church) to understand that your opposing decision is not because you’re angry or mean, but that you’re committed to living a intentional, purposed filled life which, at least for the moment, will not accommodate their requests. 

Once so properly stated, you’ll find it best for all concerned, especially your children. 

I was listening to Bobby McFerren’s “Spirityouall” while composing this post.

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